“It’s going to be very hard for me when I upload this video,” Alx James says through tears. “I don’t know how you all are going to react.”
The devout Christian Viner-and-YouTuber came out to over 8 million fans. “I knew when I was in pre-school. I kissed a boy named Kenny. Hi, Kenny! If you’re watching this.”
“It’s okay to be who you are.”
Alx James on Being Both Gay and Christian
“Another reason I did not come out is because of my Christianity. Being gay, and how it’s seen as an abomination. It’s very easy to pass judgment.”
“It’s easy to say someone is a homosexual and going to hell if you’re not gay.”
“My advice to anyone who is struggling…don’t let it stray you away from your faith. Don’t let the church tell you that it’s not okay to be gay.”
“God does not make mistakes. He would not give me this if he knew I could not handle it.”
“It is a gift from God that you are this way. And I pray that we don’t have more people committing suicide. I was there when I was 16. I was at that break.”
“I was sick of it, I was tired of it. Why couldn’t I have been born straight? And have a wife, and have kids, and have a beautiful house. And the white picket fence, and a beautiful life.”
“It gets better.”
Why Did Alx Delay Coming out to Fans for Years?
“I have been out to my friends for almost six years now.”
“Because I felt it shouldn’t define who I am. People don’t make coming out videos for them being straight.”
“That to me is just so belittling. It was a pride issue.”
“I hated using the word gay. It just puts a label on something.”
Alx James Breaks Down Over His Broken Familial Relationships
“I’m not crying about being gay, it’s not something to cry about.”
“I have just treated my parents so terrible. I have just been very disrespectful, very not how a son should be.”
“I haven’t told my parents I love them in 23 years. I don’t hug my parents…I don’t show affection to my brother or my sister.”
“I resented them so much, over my life. I have just hated them so much.”
“Because they are the closest people to me, and no one has ever asked me if I was gay.”
“I know they knew.”
“It’s been talked about me my entire life. In school, people have said it. No one I ever felt cared enough to come to me and ask if I was gay.”
“[This video] is an apology to my parents.”
“Two days ago, my mom called. I never call. She called me asking how I was. I was so annoyed with her. For no reason at all. I don’t want to be that way.”